Flash Fiction | What We Left Behind

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Fiction

What We Left Behind

And there he was. The rich American. The fat American. My Husband. My knight in shining armour.

   Well, ‘shining’ maybe is not the best word. ‘Tarnished’. That is a better word. My knight in tarnished armour. Though, ‘knight’ is not the best word, also. I do not know a better one. It was his job to love me, to open up this new life, in this land of opportunity.

   He did not know my secret. And never will. God willing.

   My husband held a sign with my name on it. Alexandra. It was spelled wrong. Aleksandra. Alex, to my few friends back home in Ukrayina. No not home. Not any more. This was my home now, with this man. My husband. He had seen my photo, through the Internet, and I had seen his. Still, we were strangers to one another, strangers now linked at the hip.

   “Hello,” he said, his strange accent making a slur of the word.

   “Hello,” I said, pitching my voice high. He would expect it to be high and I was used to the charade. I did not know what else to say.

   “Let me git that for ye.” He reached down, one meaty hand grazing my ass, and grabbed the handle of my single bag of luggage. Its wheel was broken and it wobbled as he dragged it to the taksi, tossed it roughly into the trunk, without a care for my things.

   “Well, hurry up!” he said, gesturing to the open door of the yellow taksi. “We’ve got to get home ‘fore four. The Diamondbacks are playin’ tonight. Playin’ the fuckin’ Pirates. I ain’t gonna miss that game. You like baseball?”

   “I do not know it very well. We do not like the Pirates?” I said, and entered the taksi.

   “Fuckin’ assholes, the Pirates.”

   “Hey! The Pirates ain’t so bad,” said the driver. I could see his eyes in the mirror. They were kind eyes. Naive eyes. He looked back at us, a cute smile on a crooked face. “My Pa’s from the Pitt.”

   My husband did not say anything back. Just grunted and gave the man a slip of paper.

   “42nd and third?” the driver said. He smiled at me, not my husband. Oh how his eyes glinted with good humour.

   I looked to my husband, not knowing what to say.

   “Yah,” he said. “42nd and third, like it says on the damn paper.” My husband looked at me and rolled his eyes.

   The driver gave me another of those knowing smiles. I was caught between the gazes of those two men. The taksi started moving.

   We were far from the airport when my husband spoke again. “So, girl. Tell me about yerself. Tell me everything.”

   I told him much during that car ride, for he was my husband. But I did not tell him everything.

Copyright © Aidan Moher, 2010

Just a fun little piece of Flash Fiction. It’s Romance week in my writing class and I was tasked with writing the first page of a Romance short story. I turned it into a somewhat self-contained piece of Flash fiction. What’s ‘her’ secret? You probably don’t want to know. Neither does her husband.

4 Responses

  1. RT @adribbleofink: New blog post – A silly bit of @samsykesswears-approved Flash Fiction on my writing blog: http://aidanmoher.com/mightierthantheswo...
    via Twitoaster

  2. MadHatterReview MadHatterReview

    RT @adribbleofink: I posted a fun little piece of Flash Fiction last night. Read it on my writing blog: http://aidanmoher.com/mightierthantheswo...
    via Twitoaster

  3. First Read:
    The character was mysterious and intriguing. What is so bad in Ukraine that she would marry an unknown man to leave? How will this man treat her? What if her secret comes out later, will it affect their relationship? It was interesting and thought provoking. The suspension of disbelief was easy and willing.

    Second Read [the critical one :) ]
    The American comes across as a bit of a stereotypical A*hole. In other words, it seemed a bit heavy-handed. On the other hand, maybe his rough character and immediately-unlikeable character is WHY he’s buying a wife from another character. Someone that will have no real choice but to be tied to him. Still, it seems like he would still be a little more eager to impress her. I think it’s important for the reader to dislike the husband because it felt right to side with the Ukranian for the risk she was taking and justify her secret. But maybe he could be unlikable without being too much of a stereotype.

    The other thing that rang a bit false is that he wanted to know all about her in the taxi ride. The subject-change was abrupt and it seemed like most of those conversations would have happened prior to their actual meeting. I don’t have any suggestions here, just an observation.

    The ultimate fascination for me with this story was the “what if.” I didn’t find it too hard to guess what her secret is. And it’s pretty shocking. What if he DOES find out!? What will the reprecussions be? The fact that he was so unlikeable gave it an element of wicked, karmetic humor if you suspect her secret.

    Ultimately, it was well paced and interesting. It’s far easier to be a critic than a writer and my criticism is purely intended to be constructive. Thanks for putting your work out there!

    PS: I can’t spell “reprecussions” and I doubt “karmetic” is a word but I’m defining it as: having a karma-like quality.

  4. So, my question is, when are we going to be able to purchase your work? I was unwittingly sucked into both of these short stories (I loathe short stories)…which leads me to believe that I’ll easily enjoy your longer works.

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